The Discontented
by Becky99
Summary: An emotionally and physically weakened Helena Russell is given a "gift" from an alien race which may transform the lives of the Alphans and possibly the people of Earth for generations.
1. Chapter 1

"The Discontented"

[1]

They understood the pain, although they knew not why it affected humans as it did. Still, did not teacher Yur - who was once the same as the Earth people - tell them feelings were important to their growth if ever the Tagleon race hoped to break out of what many of their kind considered a stagnant cycle? And these earth-moon people were a fairly new race of beings, catapulted into deep space, unready and not knowing what to expect, yet up for the challenge. This excited Yur. Therefore, it excited the Tagleons as well. The Alphans' emotional make-up confused many. The loss of and beginning of life, as it was being experienced by these humans, was merely biological to Tagleons but if they, what Yur termed _Children of the Universe_ were to ever understand emotions such as love, hate and hurt they would need to be educated and explore.

And they needed to make decisions of their own and act on them.

Moonbase Alpha seemed a good place to start.

"You are stepping over a line." Yur told them, "You will experience both tempered and explosive emotion and this is a good thing. The temptation will be too great. You will help beings, starting with these humans on Alpha, and you will_ feel_ good about it."

To some it might have appeared an experiment but the Tagleons hearts were in the right place, Yur knew. He allowed them the choice of who it was they wished to help on Moonbase Alpha, an individual, and their decision and plans seemed odd to him. Yet, sometimes a teacher had to leave students alone with a problem and just watch. And that was exactly what he was going to do. Watch and learn along with his pupils.

[]

"Helena Russell, if it were anyone else I'd be bringing you up on charges!"

"Please, John." Her tone was dull, "Do _not_ shout like that. I have a throbbing headache and just don't feel up to it. If you think you must, you can take your anger out on me after I'm better."

Koenig stood there, inwardly anguished and outwardly severe. He towered above Helena as she lay on the bed in her quarters. His arms were folded nearly patronizingly over his uniformed chest. John was furious and did not have the temperament to stop what he started. "Just what were you thinking, Helena?"

In one sense, Doctor Russell could not fault him. She had acted in a marginally irresponsible manner, not checking with their Commander, and jumped feet first into an experiment that could have waited for his approval. However, she was the head of their medical department and life support. Some independent experimentation was necessary, whether their Commander liked it or not. Being a man open to discovery, Helena thought John would understand; especially when it came to the well-being of the inhabitants of Moonbase Alpha. After all, she was not a child and who better than their Chief Medical Officer as the recipient of their first test?

Koenig once told Helena, as they lay together after an evening of passionate intimacy, that he had fallen in love with her not only because she was beautiful and wise but because she took risks - as he did - in both her personal and professional life_. 'We're more alike than either of us is willing to admit.'_ John had verbally pressed with a smile, her head pillowed on his shoulder.

There had been conflict in the beginning of their relationship, verbal cat and mouse games, and their physical relationship hadn't come for almost a year after the Moon left Earth behind. But that mental connection - a feeling of oneness - was there from the start.

In the present he paced. "You could have killed yourself." Koenig continued with a charged whisper. The Commander wasn't a cruel man but something was driving him to pursue the matter. "I'm disappointed, Helena. Bitterly disappointed." _and personally hurt_ he wanted to add. Then, with an uncontrollable stab: "You put the entire base in jeopardy. _Even the children_."

Eyes half-open, Helena stared at him calmly and did a slow burn. He knew better than that. Now he was just being vindictive. Helena painfully pushed her head into her pillow, attempting to muffle the sound of his ire. She'd already told John her illness wasn't contagious but he was having a difficult time believing this fact. "It's a manufactured flu, John." Helena murmured again, as she had five minutes before. "If those cultures had contained anything more dangerous I would have destroyed them on the spot."

Why wasn't he picking on Professor Fairfax? The venerable scientist had been more into this probe than she. As a matter of fact, it was he who encouraged Doctor Russell to inject the flu virus into her bloodstream in the first place. They, all in Alpha's science department, needed to see if the inoculation cured and who better than an accomplished doctor to clearly analyze what was happening? Helena knew what to look for and it seemed logical. Perhaps Fairfax just reminded John too much of Professor Bergman for him to berate the old man. Even after all of these months John was still deeply affected by his friend's passing.

Still, he was right. She _should_ have informed the Commander before experimenting. But - as always - John was busy and everyone in the lab was so anxious to get started ... And, in retrospect, they knew Helena had the eyes, ears and heart of Commander Koenig. There was always an off-chance he would say NO to their request but Helena … She could smooth it over in the aftermath and ...

As she thought about it, Helena began to feel a little used. Perhaps she _had_ taken advantage of John and her relationship, both professionally and personally. But had the others, including Fairfax, taken advantage of _her_ for that same reason?

Helena, her eyes closed, sighed when she heard nothing from the John for a few moments. "If my calculations are correct, I will be out of bed in about eight hours."

"Eight hours too long." He murmured.

Was that tenderness in his tone? Actually, Helena thought, John's anger was more from worry than genuine resentment. She scared him. Perhaps a little levity was needed. "The lab animals came out of it a bit sooner but I was given a slightly bigger dosage." Helena said, with mild mirth, and opened her eyes. It was an old joke between she and the other doctors. Moonbase Alpha had no laboratory animals to experiment with. "Everything is fine."

He did not return her smile.

_Did she really think this was funny?_ "What good is all of this investigation if the people on Alpha it was meant to help aren't around to enjoy the success of one of your intrigues?"

"Intrigues?" _Was he serious?_ "John!" _Did he actually think she was willing to gamble with the lives of Alpha's children? _Granted, there were only a few now but any new life was just too important! Helena, closing her eyes again, reached for the pillow behind her head and placed it over her flushed face. She may have been wrong - with regards to her own personal health - but she would never take undo risks when it came to the rest of Alpha. John Koenig knew this. Or, didn't he want to understand? After all, the experiment had been a success!

Why wasn't he congratulating her on a job well done?

If ever a habitable planet was found and the Alphans were given an opportunity to colonize, they would need a medicine to fight against infection until they adapted to their new environment. The children would be especially susceptible to illness. And now, through the miracle of modern science (and medicine), they had it! The inoculation wasn't all things to all people but it was certainly a step in the right direction.

But each success was fraught with minor pains. She was sick; a small thing which would eventually be a mere memory.

And now, she did not want to argue. Helena just wanted to sleep and feel better.

"What is the sense to all of this?" John barked, unable to help himself. He was being unreasonable but she managed to piqué his anger and he just couldn't let it lay. It wasn't just that Helena had over-stepped her authority, going through with the test without his permission, or that he felt she had endangered lives (particularly her own) by working with a live virus - although both occurrences were important enough to make him reconsider the trust he'd afforded his companion over the last couple of years. It was her attitude. A definite air of rebelliousness and something else he could not quite put a finger on.

Helena was exhibiting an odd type of independence lately and it seemed to be entirely at her lover's expense. She wasn't usually one to hold a grudge but she and John had a few rather loud, vocal fights about perspective during the past two weeks and Helena wouldn't budge an inch. Why was she being so difficult and passionate in her beliefs? Not even when she came after him, over a year ago, about allowing births on Moonbase Alpha had the doctor been so unrelenting. But now ... now ... it was as if she was a different woman.

Or maybe he was a different man?

_Or_ ... perhaps their relationship was different?

John wanted to marry Helena. He'd asked her on three different occasions. Always, Helena waved his proposal away, telling him they had plenty of time to make their relationship official. Why rush? But he was of the old school. Maybe that little piece of paper and an officiator didn't mean much in today's world, particularly on Moonbase Alpha, but he felt it important. In retrospect, perhaps it was Helena's lack of immediately wanting what he wanted that bothered Koenig most.

Briefly pondering, as he watched Helena make herself more comfortable, John had to also admit a feeling of neglect. Not long ago she stayed late in Medical Center, experimenting with applications which - in his opinion - weren't as important as she imparted. If it wasn't the monitoring of a liquid chemical compound, it was the diagnosis of an odd and interesting ailment. Being honest with himself, John was beginning to doubt Helena's devotion. Or even more disturbing, he felt she was becoming bored with him. But Koenig couldn't place the blame squarely on the woman's shoulders. It was also possible he'd gotten too comfortable with her, taking his loved one for granted, not showing Helena enough interest, excitement and romance.

Could this be the reason she ducked his offers to wed?

Yet, was this any reason for her to show a complete lack of respect? There were only so many things he could ignore. What did a man, whose heart wasn't made of stone, do when faced with such a dilemma?

Puzzled by unaccountable silence, Helena lifted the pillow off her face and with one aching eyeball, looked in his direction.

John was gone.

She never heard him leave. Helena sat up a little and looked about her. Sighing, she lay back again and - regretfully - felt relief and sadness. Couldn't they talk anymore without arguing or walking away from one another in a huff? There was a time, Helena fondly recalled, when she could hardly wait to see him. The mere sight of John Koenig, especially during those early months of their intimate relationship, caused her heart to beat a little faster and her pulse race. She wanted him with her, passionately and totally. It wasn't an obsessive love, just fresh and, on her part, very much needed. But lately ... lately ...

Helena could not think about it now. She wouldn't admit to herself - although she knew full well - what the problem was. She had to sleep. She had to dream and ... escape.

[]

It was the rocking and Yellow Alert alarm which woke Helena Russell nearly four hours later.

Her eyes opened wide and she steadied nausea while sitting up. With a mighty effort, Helena threw her weakened legs over the side of the bed and struggled to her feet and into soft, fabric slippers. She felt momentary dizziness as she grabbed for her blue robe. Slowly, carefully, the woman activated the door opener on her comlock. She could hear Tony Verdeschi's clear determined voice over Alpha's composts, announcing that his security team should stand ready, as she ran from her quarters to Command Center.

[]

"What's going on?" Helena asked. She came up behind John and gently touched his arm.

He stood near his desk and, as was everyone else in Command Center, stared up at the Big Screen. "Visitors." Koenig answered, firmly. John didn't look at Helena, he was so taken in by the sight before them. But his tone held concern for all when he spoke, "I had Sandra open a communication channel and I think it did try to talk to us. That's when the base began to shake ... but so far we haven't heard anything." The Commander allowed the possibility of danger to merely hang in space. They'd all been here before.

The alien, or perhaps a collection of aliens, appeared to be a bluish mass. It reminded Koenig of an innocuous cloud and he might have mentioned it if enigmatic, pulsating orange lights weren't visible in the middle of the collection of outer space cumuli.

"Commander, I think I've done it." Maya spoke from her console. Pressing a few colorful buttons and appearing somewhat unsure, the lovely auburn-haired alien blinked and breathed in heavily, "Sahn, call to it as clearly and articulately as possible. Their signals should come back to us in English."

Sandra, petite with soft brown eyes, nodded and mentally crossed her fingers, "This is Moonbase Alpha. Please respond."

When there was no immediate reply, Chief of Security Verdeschi glanced at Koenig.

Then: "People of Moonbase Alpha ... we are peaceful. We are a feeling race of beings and wish you no harm." The utterance was somewhat mechanical yet it was also united with a form of warmth. Its inflections were erogenous and combined, as if many were talking at the same time. "We are Tagleons."

"How may we help you?" Koenig asked, uncertain.

"It is we who wish to help you. There is one amongst you who is different than the rest. It is she who needs our help most."

Several sets of eyes focused on Maya. She was alien and she was pregnant.

"In what way?" Helena asked, stepping forward to stand nervously beside Koenig. She saw Maya stiffen, a hand resting on her protruding belly, and thought their resident alien was having flashbacks to the time when sinister aliens came to Alpha. They wanted her unique Psychon brainstem and were willing to kill all who stood in their way. Were the Tagleons aligned with the Dorcons?

"We must be sure ... Please be calm. We will not harm you."

Suddenly, a stream of bright white light from an unknown source penetrated Alpha's defense systems and began to separately bathe each female in Command Center with illumination. Because she was so obviously different than the other women, the light paused on a frightened Maya a bit longer than most. Yet, soon it became clear she was not the female of mention when the probe moved on.

Lastly, Helena was illuminated. The probe lingered awhile, seeming curious, and she was forced to look away when her fever-sensitive eyes could take it no more. "Stop." Helena said and was gratified when the aliens immediately did as requested.

"You are in pain." the alien cloud said, "You are ill in spirit and body. We wish to help you."

Helena glanced up at John Koenig then, a bit puzzled, she said - "Yes." slowly and, "I am physically sick but it is not anything I cannot overcome." She assured, partly to press the point again with her Commander. Curious, Helena moved forward against Koenig's console and asked, "How can _you_ help me?"

"We sense you want something ... need an item of some importance. You want to … _go home_? Is this true? Will going home to Earth make you well?" The question was asked in a manner which was almost endearing.

Helena paused. Careful. It needed to be worded just right: "Yes. We ALL want to return to Earth. Everyone on Moonbase Alpha."

"May we assist you?"

The Alphans tensed. Were they hearing what they thought they were hearing?

"Can you return us to Earth?" Koenig asked, "Without pain or loss of life?"

"Yes. Shall we?"

Could it really be as simple as that? This was too good to be true.

"Geez," Verdeschi whispered under his breath. He looked over at a wide eyed Maya and smiled. He had plans for her, the mother of his children. Won't Mama be surprised to see who her favorite son married?

Helena, in spite of a fever induced headache and weakness often associated with the flu, felt a sudden surge of adrenaline. If it was real, this could not have happened at a better time. Perhaps now she and John could focus on a life together on Earth, with all of the happiness it could bring, and stop their senseless bickering about Alpha. They - all of them - had more to look forward to than life on the sterile moonbase. And the children ... _The children would have a home_. "John ..." Helena reached for his hand as a stunned murmur swept through the Center. "Can it be?"

Koenig affectionately eyed Helena and held her close for a moment. Yet, his enthusiasm was guarded. They didn't really know anything about their Earth right now. What condition was it in? Could it be safely inhabited? _And what about these generous aliens? _Could they be trusted? "Maybe but I want to know more."

"We are awaiting an answer from the female."

It was a loaded moment and many anxious eyes now focused on Doctor Russell. Helena inwardly gulped, feeling the weight of negotiation fall yet again on her slender shoulders. "I am honored with the gift you have offered us. However, we are people of caution. There ..."

"The female has spoken. We wish her well."

The bright light once again materialized, this time engulfing the whole of Command Center. Most Alphans had to raise hands in front of their eyes to block out the intense glare. A shaking was felt beneath their feet and when it was over many expected to find the moon miraculously brought back into Earth orbit.

However, this was not the case. The alien had heard but misunderstood. The only difference on Alpha was the disappearance of one person.

Helena was nowhere to be seen.

Koenig, horrified, felt her dissolve in his protective arms. He looked again at the Big Screen but there was nothing he could do. The bluish mass was no longer there. The aliens were gone ... and they had taken Helena with them ... to _Earth_?!

"Commander!" Still stunned, Sandra spoke. "I am getting an odd report from Security ..."

[]

She sat up poker-straight on the sofa. The wind, knocking a hanging planter against a stabilizing column on the balcony, awakened her from a nap. Not her alarm. She set it for five p.m. because Bruce would be picking her up in an hour and she needed time to shower and pretty herself for the cocktail party.

Helena felt a bit of nausea creep up on her as she threw her long legs over the side of the sofa cushions. Was it the result of too much champagne at lunch while celebrating her birthday? Or was it the thought of another of these damnable get-togethers?

No one she questioned really liked Gerald Simmonds, the party's honoree, but he was an influential man, a politician of some note, and if she and her colleagues were going to get the funding from The International Lunar Finance Commission they were asking for, they'd need his support. This Alpha Project, the building of the actual moonbase, was getting more and more complicated and costly as the walls were erected, computers installed and atmosphere added. It was taking shape but as Bruce said: "Money is everything." and he needed her help. Helena was willing. Some day she might even want a position on Moonbase Alpha herself.

She stretched, suddenly wondering why she was so achy. "Not the flu ..." Helena murmured, looking vaguely about her Manhattan apartment, almost as if she was seeing it for the first time. She was sick. No wonder she was having such odd dreams about the moonbase and the people she saw there. Aliens, she mused with a mild smile. To actually come face to face with such a creature ... impossible. And interesting.

Stripping and stepping into a shower, she allowed the water to wash over her in a comfortable tide.

_... and she wanted to wear the peach colored night gown because it was one hundred percent cotton and reminded her of Earth and all those soft touches of home. Besides, John really liked it. He said it was sexier than any of those frilly sheer teddies that were so popular at one time and ..._

Startled, Helena jumped in the shower. What was _that_? What gown was she thinking about? Who was John? Certainly not John Koenig, the astrophysicist she'd read about in the newspaper. It was said he was one of ten men who were being considered as Alpha's new Commander. But why was she thinking of him and a night dress?

Perhaps it was his resemblance to Lee that triggered the thought. No, they didn't really look alike. But he was tall and dark like Lee ... and she thought Koenig terribly handsome in a rugged, somewhat unconventional way.

_Lee Russell._ Oddly, she hadn't really thought about her dear departed for some time now. He was gone, assumed dead nearly a year ago. Helena attempted to stay on in London for the first couple months but could not. They lived together there for many happy years - but North America was home and New York was where she was most comfortable. Helena's one regret was that she and Lee never had children together. Now, she doubted it would ever happen.

Stepping from the shower and towelling herself dry, Helena glanced over at a small flower trimmed calendar beside her cream-colored medicine chest. August 5, 1997. It was another of those days which would live in infamy; an unwanted birthday. That ever-present biological clock was ticking away at an ever alarming rate.

Doctor Bruce Ripperton, her friend and colleague, was determined she join him. He enthusiastically assured Helena she would have a good time, mixing business with pleasure, and he wanted to see her happy and active for a change. Also, he added, it wouldn't hurt if he was seen at the party with an attractive woman at his side. Dear, Bruce. He was a sweetheart but also a total lackey. He would follow and paw over nearly anyone who could give him a leg up on whatever project it was he was working on at any given time. It sometimes bothered Helena but also made her smile.

Helena slipped on a thin robe and was walking to her small kitchen, to prepare a cup of hot tea, when she heard something that caused her to stop in her tracks. She then twisted about and stared into the living room in shock and fear.

_"Helena!"_

She could hear the echoing cry plainly. It was male and, from the sound of him, he was in pain or utterly devastated. But that was all she heard. Nervous, but knowing she must have imagined the wail, Helena moved once again into the kitchen.

[]

**_Continue …._**

_This fiction was a part of _SPACE: 1999, ALPHAN QUEST_ – 3rd in a series of shorts stories. However, it does work well as a stand alone fiction. It was written years ago and has been slightly edited by its original author. Thank you and please let me know what you think. Becky._


	2. Chapter 2

[2]

She wore her blue silk off the shoulder gown and stood in the middle of their hostess living room, glass of white wine in hand, displaying what she thought was a very unconvincing smile. Helena knew she was pale and although she did wear make-up she doubted it could hide the exhaustion that continued to plague her, the body aches that placed tension in her shoulders and the back of her neck and scalp. If she had not promised her companion she would stay for at least a couple of hours while he talked with 'all the right people' Helena would have made her excuses and left before the hors d'oeuvre were served by the waiters.

Bruce had run off, dogging Commissioner Simmonds. She watched from a distance as her date laughed at the politician's unfunny jokes, agreeing with his pompous opinions, and pretending to have a great deal in common with their prospective advocate. But Helena stayed away. She disliked Gerald Simmonds at first sight. Yet, she really didn't know why. He hadn't actually said anything offensive to her personally, even complimenting her on what he heard of her medical achievements. But Doctor Russell had a bad feeling about him. Odd images flashed through her mind. She saw him wearing an odd uniform and shooting at people with a laser gun. She imagined him threatening others with something she couldn't fully understand. It was ridiculous, obviously a vision created by a vivid imagination, but not a prophecy she could ignore.

Helena knew a few people here in the crowded apartment and spoke with them fleetingly as her acquaintances were ushered someplace else. But most of the time she stayed distant; now taking a trip out onto the balcony to get fresh air. She found herself looking up at the crescent moon and feeling peculiarly nostalgic. Helena wasn't well and occasionally her head swam. Her thoughts wandered, looking out at all those bright night lights; tall buildings, auto mobiles and general big city activity.

"Helena."

She knew that voice and smiled. "Victor." Doctor Russell turned and hugged her friend, Professor Bergman, kissing him gently on the cheek. "It's been over a year. How have you been?" she asked, genuinely pleased and somewhat relieved to see him.

Holding a brandy and wearing a coat and tie, Victor seemed less comfortable than usual but happy to see her. "I ventured a trip to Vienna." he said, "It took a beating during the war and my presence was requested, among other men of note. I hope we did some good but I'm afraid I made few friends, particularly with Lunar Commission. I started to speak of responsibility and the steps that needed to be taken to prevent war from ever happening again and was quickly hushed." Victor looked off a bit, "They were very polite, our hosts, but I got the impression they didn't want to hear anything other than how well The World Peace Committee was cleaning up in the aftermath of this mess. And, of course, how much progress was being made on Moonbase Alpha."

Helena nodded her understanding. Victor was a brilliant British scientist and a deep thinker. World War Three had taken such a toll - as most did - but the fact that no one really understood what the fighting was all about troubled many. It was called "The War of the Prejudices" but there was a higher political agenda behind it. There always was.

The battles had been devastating for most countries but The United States and a few parts of Europe, Africa and Japan were relatively untouched.

The United Kingdom despite their own internal battles over the years, pulled together during the war and were somewhat lucky. King Harry, the youngest monarch crowned in recent memory (after the horrible bombing deaths of much of The Royal Family and a good portion of Parliament) was fervid in his demands that the human-race look ahead into the stars. It wasn't an entirely popular decision but Harry was so certain of his vision that he pledged the bulk of the royal treasury, most of the capital funding The Alpha Project.

In the news, if you didn't hear about masses for the dead, destruction and hunger the world over, you heard about the United Kingdom and the United States and how they were instrumental in the resurgence of the space program. Both war and space exploration were expensive and they were on everyone's mind.

"You're looking lovely," Victor said, taking her hands - "but a little off-color. Are you well?"

She knew his distress rested with more than her health. "Victor, I'm fine. Lee's been missing for nearly a year and I'm coping."

"Bruce tells me you've been working hard at New York World Hospital. Too hard, he says. He's very concerned about you, Helena. Tell me, are you and he ...?"

"Victor!' Helena laughed and squeezed his hands. It felt odd to her. Laughing. She hadn't had a good chuckle in a long time. But the thought of she and Bruce was funny. He was keeping it concealed, concerned with the consequences, but there were really only a few people who didn't already know Doctor Ripperton was not interested in women.

Suddenly overcome, Helena leaned forward, touching her lips softly to Victor's forehead. A despondency had inexplicably crept in. Helena felt she was remembering something from long ago ... and it was about this man. A death. Perhaps she was thinking about Agatha, the woman Victor was going to marry, who died quite suddenly in a car accident several years ago. Helena felt as if she ought to be grieving for Victor Bergman.

"Professor!" Marcia Gilcrest stepped onto the balcony, lovely strawberry blond hair spilling over her creamy bare shoulders. The lime colored gown she wore was snug and strapless and she looked beautiful. "When did you arrive, darling?" she gushed, "You walked right by me and you know how much I adore you."

_'She's insincere.'_ Helena thought but felt immediately ashamed.

"Helena, do you know Marcia?" Victor asked after pecking their hostess politely on the cheek.

"Only by reputation." Helena nodded graciously and tried hard to make her words sound warm. "Your family is well-known in society and I can see the newspaper reports aren't exaggerating when they tout your impressive parties, Miss Gilcrest. Everything is just … wonderful."

Marcia's eyes took in Helena Russell, estimating her age, I.Q. and social position.

Victor said, "Doctor Russell was last year's recipient of the Briggins Award." Then, at Marcia's blank stare - "In medicine."

"Oh yes, of course. Such an honor to have you here, Doctor. You came with Victor?" The willowy blond unexpectedly asked, her smile pretentious and calculating. She did not know Doctor Russell but she was certain she didn't like her. The woman, with her classic features, was too successful and smooth. It didn't occur to Miss Gilcrest, and she never would have admitted to it if it had, that she was jealous. Helena was easily one of the most attractive and accomplished women at the party. Marcia saw how the men reacted to her when she and Bruce first arrived. The appreciative smiles, looking out of the corner of eyes and the not so subtle gawking, annoyed Marcia. Gilcrest women didn't need this type of competition. Still, there was something about Helena … a hushed-up rumor, Marcia recalled. The socialite could not recall what it was but she would look into it later through her substantial contacts. "How wonderful to have a medical doctor here among the beautiful people. I love contrast." Her laugh was sly and she purposely looked from Helena to Victor, as if unaware of the insult.

Helena refused to be baited and tittered along with her hostess. "Actually, I came with Doctor Ripperton. I was just lucky enough to run into Victor ... and now you."

Marcia looked about when she heard other footsteps on the balcony, "Oh, and here comes Bruce now ... with my John." She reached for John Koenig's arm, pleased to be able to throw something dazzling at Doctor Russell, whether she knew why or not.

Helena stiffened a moment when she saw him. How utterly ironic to have read about this man, dreamed about him and now to suddenly see him in person at a party she really hadn't wanted to attend. She was a little amused to see that, like Victor, John Koenig seemed uncomfortable. He wore a fashionably snug tuxedo as were most of the men, and Marcia Gilcrest was leaning into him as if her bones had left her.

Bruce stood beside Helena as Victor and John exchanged pleasantries. Apparently Bergman and Koenig were also well acquainted. "Isn't this great." Bruce whispered into Helena's left ear. "Simmonds was telling me that Koenig may be Moonbase Alpha's first Commander when it goes into full operation. There are a few other candidates but if Koenig does become Commander - just think of the possibilities! He's an advocate of space medicine. Our Medical Center will be fabulous."

Helena met Koenig's eyes as he was being spoken to. A little self-conscious, aware of an odd electricity in the air, she looked down at her hands. She wondered what was important enough to pry Bruce away from Simmonds. Koenig could do it.

Yet, looking up again at him - as Marcia directed his attention somewhere else - Helena had a feeling that all would not go well for this man. She felt he would end up on Alpha someday but ... but not as its Commander. _At least, not at first_. But there was going to be trouble and he would return, taking command. Then something ..._ something _... horrible would happen!

Over lapping revelation came to Helena. One mental picture after another ravaged her mind. She tried to shake the images of terrified, screaming people from her brain but could not. She inwardly gasped. _It wouldn't be John Koenig's fault ... He would try to fix things ..._

Then, another vision came to Helena and it startled her to the point of actually making her physically jump - just as its sister did in the shower.

"What is it, Helena?" Alerted, Bruce took her arm.

Doctor Russell had grown ghost white, "Excuse me." She nodded nervously yet politely to the attentive group and quickly made her way into the lush apartment, to a washroom. The moment she closed the door Helena was sick. But it was an illness born from realization as well as her physical ailment. Tears came to her eyes as she leaned her warm forehead against the cool of the bathroom wall tiles.

She understood.

She'd been sent back.

"Oh, God." Helena remembered everything now. Alpha. John. Her friends. Her Medical Center! And also all of the horrors and joys they experienced while on the moonbase. She was back on Earth! An Earth of the past! What was she going to do? Would she be able to return?

"Helena, are you all right?"

She could hear Bruce's gentle voice outside. Helena raised her trembling hands and placed them over her ears. She allowed the tears to fall.

[]

Matters on Moonbase Alpha had gone from enigmatic to confusing.

"Now, tell me what is really going on here." she demanded from her bed. The woman was attired in the same blue pajamas she wore when disappearing from Command Center. Yet they knew something was wrong. The hair, eyes, figure, voice ... Everything was the same, but different. "Is this an experiment? Are you purposely trying to drive me out of my mind?"

Koenig watched her from behind a one way glass; as did Tony and Maya.

The woman was not fooled. She couldn't see them but knew someone was there - "I don't know who you people are or what this is all about but I want to go home! I'm through being your guinea pig! Let me go!"

Verdeschi suggested, "Could it be amnesia?"

Koenig considered that hours ago, when Security called to Command Center and Sandra reported Helena Russell found near the medical department. She was acting strangely. Lost and incoherent, she wandered the moonbase aimlessly in her pajamas, until security took her into Medical Center.

Doctor Vincent examined Helena and slowly she came out of her stupor to reveal a woman who was Doctor Russell but very different.

"Who's in charge here!?" she cried from her bed. The woman was being held in leather restraints. Panicked by the explanations of what had happened, strange tales of an alien race of beings and living on the as yet unmanned Moonbase Alpha, causing fear and trepidation.

"No," Maya answered Tony when John seemed unable, "Months ago, when Helena came back from Scotland, delirious, she was still reasonable. This woman is ... strange. Erratic. It's not her."

"The Tagleons have done something to her mind." Koenig suggested, "I'm going to talk with her." he said quickly and stepped into the room. John closed the door behind him, before either Maya or Tony could say another word. If this was not Alpha's Helena, his Helena, he had to know who she was.

Calming, she looked at him, some hope and a little recognition in her eyes. "John Koenig?' she asked, as if hazarding a guess, "I've read about you." She murmured, a bit of awe in her voice. Then, "Why am I being held prisoner? What is all of this about?"

John stood next to her bed, attempting gentleness as he spoke, "You tell me. What is the last thing you remember?"

"I was lying down on my sofa. I needed to rest before going to a party." she said, with a little irritation in her tone, "I told that to your Doctor Mathias an hour ago. Just before they did this to me!" She shook her wrists, indicating the heavy straps holding her arms and hands down. "I'm not in a sanitarium, am I?" Helena suddenly looked afraid.

It was a reasonable question under the circumstances, "No." If it was a relapse of her delirium what else could she think? It hurt John to see her like this but, for now, they didn't know what else to do. If Helena were in her right mind she would understand.

She lost control when Vincent and Mathias tried to tell her the situation and, for awhile, they did not think they'd ever calm her. Also, the doctors and Koenig did not want to give Helena a sedative - not until they knew what they were facing.

"You know, you can't keep me like this forever." she pressed. An odd gleam was in her eyes.

John nodded, "I don't want to." he said honestly, "If I try to explain it all to you again, will you promise not to get over excited? _And_ - if I tell you all you want to know - will you start answering our questions …rationally?"

"I can't promise I'll believe a word you say." she said. "But I'll listen and be a good girl." and she smiled, warmly.

The woman's familiar expression made an impression on Koenig and he returned her favor. Of course this was Helena. He was sure of it now. The aliens had done something to her but this was the woman he loved. They would work through this and her memory would return, as it did before. All would be well.

Inside of the observation room, Tony and Maya looked at one another. Both were plagued by doubts.

[]

It took Helena the weekend to pull herself together.

Friday evening Bruce took her home, glancing now and again at her glassy expression and knowing he should never have pressed the woman into going out. Helena had warned him in the Taxi on the way to the party that she wasn't well but he thought she would feel better once they got to Marcia's and the evening moved along. Bruce now saw he was very much mistaken.

Helena winced when recalling how he apologized over and over as he walked her up to the apartment. It wasn't necessary, she kept telling him - with strained patience. He was behaving as if he was nervous for a reason other than her flu and Helena, aggravated, just did not have it in her to figure out what was rolling around in her friend's mind.

Then, once in the apartment and by herself, Helena fell completely to pieces. She collapsed on her bed and cried for a solid hour. She attempted, all in vain, to call to the Tagleons. At first she demanded then begged them to take her back to Moonbase Alpha - but they were gone. Helena finally grew convinced she would never go back to the life she knew.

Alpha was gone or, as yet, hadn't happened! She was lost in confusion.

Around midnight, still wearing her blue gown, Helena fell into a fitful sleep and dreamed of those precious last minutes on Alpha. She stood there, wearing pajamas and feeling the floor shake beneath her feet. John's protective arms were wrapped around her as chaos erupted about them. Yet, she felt at ease. Certainly, there was threat of harm but they were together. Even if they died, they'd still be a couple and there was an offbeat comfort in that. But then, things became distorted. She could feel him slipping away from her - and she reached for his hands, desperately trying to hold onto what was familiar and loved. And that was when she heard him cry out her name.

One loud, broken-hearted "Helena!"

Later, awake, in the early morning hours as she sat on the sofa with a light blanket covering her, again wearing pajamas but not the style issued on the moonbase, Helena nursed a mug of tea and recalled two interesting items of note: She did remember Marcia's party from her past and how she _did not_ go to it in her original timeline. Bruce asked her repeatedly to attend but Helena was stubborn and stayed at home with a good book. He didn't speak with her for weeks afterwards and she felt bad, knowing it meant a lot to him. The whole incident amazed Helena now, knowing that she missed a first meeting with her future love, John Koenig, because she wanted to read the last chapter of a murder mystery.

Helena also thought back on the visions she was experiencing while on the balcony back at the party. She'd seen more than Koenig's future on Moonbase Alpha. She saw them. She and John. They were walking and arguing, laughing and kissing and finally - and this was what tipped it over the edge - she saw John Koenig and herself making passionate physical love. It was just too much. That was when she jumped and Bruce asked her if she was all right.

And that was when her memory fully returned.

Helena wasn't certain if this was what the aliens intended but it happened and now she felt entirely alone and completely confused. Perhaps the Tagleons felt they were giving her a second chance to change what it was that was making her so unhappy on Moonbase Alpha. They had probed her fevered mind, sensing her need for calm and control and understanding she might have this on her home planet - before disaster.

They had given her an Earth before Moonbase Alpha ... and before John Koenig.

Yet, they had made arrangements for even this. She had opportunity to reach out for him if she chose to do it. Unfortunately, the Tagleons failed to understand, as probably she had until now, that Helena Russell had a good and in many ways _better_ life on the moon than she had while on Earth. She made wonderful friends and fell in love with an incredible man. A man who only had her best interests at heart ...

And suddenly Helena felt a new wave of nausea threaten her calm. She was such a fool! She and John's arguments of the last few weeks were so petty. Why couldn't she see that poor John was feeling as confused and insecure as she? Helena understood she was acting indifferently and this caught him off guard. So, why did she continue to torment him? Why didn't she just meet her lover head on and explain that it wasn't him. He had nothing to do with her unusual behavior. It was time. It was pressure. It was the not knowing ...

... It was the fact that Maya - her cherished alien friend - told her that she and Tony were expecting a baby! She watched her grow big over the months. Yes, Helena was happy for them, even forgiving the couple for not coming to her first for the diagnosis. She would be the child's godmother, Verdeschi promised. But the news had enhanced Helena's own private yearning. It was selfish, she knew, but - oh - how Helena wanted a child of her own!

But John had said ... and she _totally_ agreed ... children were not in their future.

Yet, without realizing she was doing it, Helena took her grief out on John anyway. The poor, miserable man thinking she did not love him anymore. And now they were parted and he would never understand just how deep her feelings for him ran.

Wait. Helena sat up a little straighter on the sofa, suddenly inspired. Why not? John and Marcia, even at this point in their relationship, were not talking marriage. He was up for grabs and, Helena reasoned, she and John would eventually get together anyhow. _Why_ did it have to wait until 1999? Didn't she and the Commander have conversations regarding what it would have been like if they'd known each other on Earth? Helena had already changed their timeline by going to the party and …

Now that she was back and knew what to expect ... Perhaps she could prevent the moon from leaving Earth orbit! Just think of all those lives! Earth wouldn't be devastated! The moon would remain above.

She could not do it on her own. She would need John and - Victor Bergman! Yes, wonderful, living and breathing Professor Bergman. She would watch over him, making sure his mechanical heart beat as it should. He would have check-ups and on that day, that horrible hour when - on Alpha - his heart finally gave out, she would have him here on Earth, in a hospital, where they could reach the defect and put him in good working order before his body and mind failed.

Helena, motivated now, she had a purpose. It was only a weak outline but the way would eventually come. Her heart beat like a falling sledgehammer in her chest. She would take the weekend to get over her pain, to know her situation. But starting Monday, she would be back in action. And she would make things right!

**Continue ...**


	3. Chapter 3

**[3]**

The first few days at the hospital were trial and error but, in no time, Doctor Russell was easily seeing her way clear. The biggest problem Helena faced was knowing all of her co-workers from a past life. She often had to bite her tongue when overcome with an urge to hug and kiss someone she hadn't seen in years. Helena continually reminded herself that although it had been an eternity for her, for them it was only a few days.

And the things she'd forgotten; Sherry's dry wit, Clarence's hyper-active nervousness, and Nick's charm. But then there were anomalies which confused Helena. She didn't know Mahalia, her personal assistant, had a child or that Martin, the coroner, was fired six months earlier. She was also not aware of the hospital lawyer's divorce. Always light-hearted and friendly, Max was now bitter and unresponsive. How is it she'd forgotten these things? Could the way she was brought back to Earth caused a memory lapse?

Then, there was John Koenig. She thought long and hard about him, picturing the man wrapped in her arms, thinking of their love. Or - at least - a love which would come to him some day.

Helena was not devious but she realistically knew a chance meeting between them wouldn't happen again unless she arranged for it. Using her weight as a high-ranking doctor with a top-secret security clearance in New York World Hospital, Helena ordered all prospective Moonbase Alpha personnel, American and European branches, to have immediate physical check-ups. She also made a special note that all top ranking officers would be seen by either herself, a specialist in Space Medicine, or Dr. Ripperton.

Commissioner Simmonds was curious about her sudden interest but seemed satisfied when Helena told him - via monitor-phone - that she just wanted to be certain all was well now that final preparations were being made. Space Commission could not afford a sudden outbreak of measles on the moon, closing down the base completely before actual space exploration could start. Simmonds agreed but Helena would never forget that rather trapped look he gave her. The Commissioner was wondering if - somehow - she knew about their ulterior motives.

As yet, the general populace of Earth knew nothing of those thousand ton cans of nuclear waste being deposited on the moon for safe storage. This had been going on for months and the news would come out later in the year, with a full press report telling all how economical and secure the storage compartments were, when it was too late for anyone to do anything about it.

Just one more bit of information to pass along to John and Victor.

When the connection broke between Helena and Simmonds, the doctor sat back in her office chair and relaxed. The sunshine, streaming through a nearby window, streaked gold and silver across her face and hair. Utter bliss.

[]

Two weeks passed. Doctor Russell sent a memo but Koenig had yet to show for his physical examination. Helena was becoming a little worried her orders would not extend to him because he was thought to be the prospective Alpha Project Commander. However, her fears were put to rest when spotting his name on an appointment check list for the following day. Ten o'clock in the morning on Thursday. A good omen, she thought. It was on a Thursday evening, while holding one another in an intimate embrace, when John first told Helena he loved her.

"Sentimental."

"Hunh?" Helena swiveled in her chair, startled by Bruce's voice.

White coated, a stethoscope around his neck and swinging over his barrel chest, Doctor Ripperton walked from the opened entryway into Helena's office, over to an oak cabinet. He liked Helena's office, open and warm, but this bothered him. Bruce picked up a framed photograph, "You still have Lee's picture here." he said, "The one with his dog." He returned it to the shelf, paused and turned. "Helena, we once spoke about getting on with your life. All work and no play. It's beginning to show."

"In what way?" Helena was honestly curious.

Bruce searched for words, not wanting to hurt his friend - "In little ways -" And in some not so little ways. He'd been wanting to speak with her about this for some-time. "Helena, I don't want to drudge up the past but lately … Well, seem out of sorts. Cold even and ... I'm sorry ..." He faltered.

Doctor Russell stood and crossed to him. This was actually a little frightening. "What Bruce? Tell me."

"I've heard things from Doctors Standish and Yamoto. Both told me a relapse was possible." He spoke in a manner which implied confidentiality, "Now, I understand how you've allowed yourself to become obsessed with work. It happens when one is trying to bury a deep pain but you've become - well - rather ..."

Helena's eyes narrowed. She didn't know either a Standish or Yamoto. And what did Bruce mean by relapse? "_What?_"

"Ruthless."

"Bruce ..." Helena stepped backed, shocked. "And you agree with this?" She'd been called a lot of things in her lifetime; ambitious, clever and even relentless but never _ruthless_.

"No, of course not." He straightened, deciding it was a mistake to do this to her. Helena Russell was a good woman and brilliant surgeon. She'd had some problems. After all, she wasn't made of stone. Only recently - since Lee's disappearance - did she appear to steer towards the abnormal. Perhaps he should have reported it to the board but she seemed to be getting so much better ... and he owed Helena so much. His personal orientation did not bother her in the least and he could tell her things he told no other person. Bruce would watch her and if she seemed to be turning into _that_ woman again he would take care of matters, as he had a few months ago. That's what friends were for. "Oh, never mind Helena." He smiled and shook his head in a dismissing gesture. "One of these days things will get back to normal. You might even marry again."

Nodding herself, wanting to ask questions but worried she might just make matters more difficult if she did, Helena slyly said: "The only man I'm truly interested in isn't for me." She took one of his hands and caressed it, "Oh, why won't you marry me Bruce?" Her tone was a falsetto.

For a split second Ripperton appeared nervous then, recognizing the old joke he chuckled: "If the hair on your head was a shade darker and you shaved your upper lip occasionally I might take you up on that." he tossed back in good humor, "But really, Helena, you need to get out more or you just might end up a lonely old lady with half a dozen cats." Bruce bent at the waist to look into her eyes, a lock of sandy hair falling across his somewhat sunburned forehead. "You don't deserve a reputation as an untouchable."

Helena remembered a conversation a bit like this, with Bruce, in her past. Her grief over Lee was still tender and all-consuming. Perhaps she should tell him how things were now. She wanted him to understand. But no. She wouldn't burden dear Bruce. He just was not in her plans. "All right, Doctor." She let go of his hands, "I'll try to loosen up a bit more, okay?" Then thought - _And you'll just see how loose I can get when I finally get my mitts on John Koenig._

"You can be stubborn, Helena, and I'm not sure how much of it I believe but I'll take it for now." He put his long, deceptively strong arms around her and they hugged. Bruce parted from Helena and was almost out of the office when he turned and said, "I meant to tell you, don't worry about that appointment with Koenig tomorrow. He came in today and I examined him myself."

"What?" Helena tensed, feeling as if she was just slapped.

"He came in while you were on break, alluded to visiting a friend in pre op and wondered if he could just get his own exam over with. I obliged. He's probably on his way out to the parking garage now."

Eyes fixed and scarcely breathing, Helena clenched exasperated hands behind her back.

[]

Doctor Russell wasted no time. It was nearly noon, when a good portion of the hospital's staff would be leaving for the dinner hour. She raced out into the garage hoping to catch John before the glut started.

Exasperated, Helena could see no one as she stood next to her own car. She blew it and would have to find some other way to reach him. Despondent, looking down at the blue nineteen ninety-six DeVille, she shook her head back and forth. It took her a day to get used to driving again, not having to worry about such an Earth-crucial mode of transportation while living on the moon. Yet - as they say - you never forget. Okay. Plan B. She would call John up, explaining that his original tests were somehow contaminated. He would have to come in again and report directly to her. Concentrating, thinking about how she was going to carry out such a thing, Helena stared into the passenger side window of her car and was suddenly shocked at what the reflection unexpectedly revealed.

"Are you all right?"

She twisted around, "Fine." Helena nearly squeaked, knowing she probably looked and sounded ridiculous.

John Koenig stood before her, slightly amused. A dark wind breaker hung over his left arm and a computer-chip key ring extended from his right hand. "I hope I didn't frighten you but you looked agitated. I thought you might have locked yourself out."

_And you came to rescue me? So typical of the Commander_. "No," Helena straightened, "Just wondering where to go for lunch." she improvised, quickly. When Helena felt he might soon move away, she swiftly asked, "Are you John Koenig?"

He looked into her eyes, "I thought I recognized ..."

"Yes, from Marcia's party a couple of weeks ago." Helena prompted, "I'm afraid I made a rather bad impression, leaving so early. I have to apologize for that."

"Not at all." John relaxed and smiled, "Marcia's get-togethers can be a strain. I wish I would have come down ill. I hate those ..." He stopped, thinking he had probably said too much to this virtual stranger. "Well, Marcia enjoys throwing them and I'm sure there will be more. The least I can do is show up when she asks me." He was looking a little past Helena now, disheartened.

Helena chuckled at his expression, "You're a friend of Victor's?" she asked, knowing the answer but recognizing it as a bond between them, on Earth and on the moon.

"We've been friends for years."

"He's a wonderful man. I met him through my husband."

"Oh." John said quietly and seemed disappointed.

"My husband was Lee Russell." Helena added, folding her arms and leaning against the car door. There weren't many people in the space program who didn't know about the ill-fated Astro Seven Mission.

"Oh, I'm sorry." Koenig said respectfully but his expression, despite the gravity of what she just said, began to brighten again. "Doctor Russell ... would you like to go to lunch?"

Helena nodded.

[]

"You have to tell me John isn't serious." Alan Carter made his opinion very clear as he plopped down in a chair across from the Verdeschi's: "John's crazy, letting that woman roam freely around Medical Center. I was just there, seeing if I could help in some way." He told Tony and Maya as they chewed absently on their lunches in the cafeteria. "She's weird and not Helena."

"What convinced you?" Tony asked, noting the Australian pilot's distress.

"To be honest, mate, I'd rather not tell you. Let's just say Helena did something while I was speaking with her that proved to me it couldn't be her; at least, not in my mind. Funny thing is, at first I was as convinced as John."

Carter could not tell them that this woman, who might still be Doctor Russell although he doubted it seriously, a lady Alan thought he was (secretly) infatuated with at one time, had propositioned him. Actually, if it had been a mere flirtation he probably would have felt flattered - whether she was the real Helena or not - but this creature openly leered and spoke vulgarly. "She has mental problems."

"I agree." said an immersed Maya, picking through a salad.

Tony, usually the spoiler, sighed, "You know I feel the same but our opinions mean nothing. Scientific tests conducted by Mathias and Vincent prove that she _is_ Helena. Fingerprints, tissue, hair samples and even D.N.A. corroborate. If it wasn't for her mental state John probably would be totally convinced."

"But she's not Helena." Maya stated, not looking at either man. "It's not just the way she's acting or her lack of knowledge regarding Alpha. It's her manner. I've listened in on her conversations with the Commander and doctors. She has an entirely different take on matters that our Helena would never even consider. I don't know why John Koenig can't see it but she's … evil."

Verdeschi glanced at Alan as he slowly lifted a hand and placed it gently on his wife's back, carefully rubbing up and down.

Emotionally, Maya was not taking to any of this. She was pregnant and, in her own words, needed Helena. She was her friend and doctor, the woman who was there for her when she started to have doubts about the baby and whether she and Tony should keep it. Granted, that was only a momentary panic (and one she never told her husband about) but Helena was there, gently biased and thrilled for her friend.

Tony touched Maya's hair. Depression was getting the better of his Psychon Princess.

Lifting his 'tuna' sandwich, Alan asked: "Does John still have Command Center searching space for the Tagleons?"

Tony nodded, "Yes, but it's beginning to look hopeless." He felt Maya tense beneath his hand. He added, "But how many times on Alpha have we thought something was concrete and it came back to visit us in a variety of surprising ways?" Gratefully, he felt her relax again.

Carter bit into his sandwich. He always ordered it but he hated this artificial fish. It looked, felt and smelled the same but was patently unreal.

Just like the woman who was pretending to be Helena Russell.

[]

"Please forgive me." She said, stepping back from him. She put fingers to her mouth, trying unsuccessfully to hide her simpering smile. "I don't know what made me do that."

It was a kiss. And what a kiss.

John stared at her, slightly astonished. He came to visit Helena, bringing a video disc for her inspection. Doctor Mathias advised, as before, to take it slow. _'Don't rush the recovery.'_ Koenig thought the best idea was what partially brought her back to them last time, when her delirium played tricks with her memory. Alpha on video. Then, when he presented it to her and told her to take her time, Helena jumped forward, threw her arms around him and pressed her lips full and hard on his own mouth. The experience was pleasant but such a demonstration, where doctors and nurses could clearly see them, was thoroughly unlike Helena, whether she felt she knew him or not.

And the kiss itself was also strange. _Unfamiliar_ is how he would term it later.

Immediately, she saw her mistake, "I suppose it's your trust, Commander. Allowing me up, walking around and now trying to familiarize me with Alpha." She shrugged, "It's wonderful and a little overwhelming. Am I forgiven?" she asked, appearing somewhat impish.

John nodded but a sudden nagging doubt was making itself known.

Yet, he wanted to believe it was Helena. The others were suspicious and blatantly against her but John Koenig was her champion. Could they not see she was manipulated by aliens? This was causing her to act strangely. Bob Mathias seemed to think along the same lines, saying he felt Helena had cracked under the stress of her illness and the alien probing. The Commander was grateful for at least one ally and spent more time than he should in Medical Center. Every spare moment he could find he was with her. Helena would come back to herself soon. John Koenig was certain of it.

[]

He sat and stared at her from his location on the sofa. "Oh, Helena. I just don't know ..." he started, leaning back on the lavender cushions. "You're asking a lot from me." He was uneasy, never expecting Doctor Russell, of all people, to bring up something so fantastic. He had come to her apartment, a friendly bouquet of flowers in one hand and a bottle of wine in the other. He was there for dinner but knew Helena had much more on her mind. She wanted to talk with him about something important, she had said so, but this was totally beyond what he expected.

"Victor, I honestly have not gone insane." She paced in front of him, wearing an elegant cream-colored summer dress that managed, on Helena, to be unassuming. "I'm telling you this because, of all the people I know, I thought you the one to accept it with an open mind." Also, he was to leave for Switzerland in a couple days and Helena knew this would be the last time she could bring it, the improbability of the Moon leaving Earth orbit, to his attention. "Nuclear waste, Victor. I know it's being taken to the moon, and has been for months. I was there to see the results. I know it sounds crazy ..."

Actually, she wanted to tell John Koenig first but their new relationship was getting off to a slow start. Two weeks passed since their promising meeting in the parking garage and although she and John lunched often and he was now calling her at both work and home, he hadn't extended himself beyond the boundaries of a gentle kiss. Of course, he had much on his mind. Helena understood Alpha was taking up a lot of John's time. And then there was Marcia ... Koenig was conflicted over what he was feeling for Helena and she didn't want to push him too hard. She would give him a little time and soon, Helena trusted, John would come to her openly and without indecision. And Marcia ... Well, it sounded cold but she would learn to live without him. After all, it was Marcia who broke-up with John before he left Earth in 1999 to become the Commander of Alpha.

Professor Bergman scratched his forehead, "What do you want me to say?"

"I want you to believe in the possibility, Victor, that I could be speaking the truth."

Helena told him selected portions. She was from the future, a future where the moon left Earth behind. He, John and herself were amongst the base's inhabitants in 1999. She wouldn't - couldn't - tell him that he would eventually die after a year out in deep space. The mere thought of it was enough to derail Helena and she couldn't afford to appear anything but earnest in front of the Professor now. "I haven't been over-working or any of those other explanations you're forming in that clever head of yours. Ask me anything, Victor, about the future. I can tell you ...'

He watched Helena closely, considering what she said. He briefly recalled a rumor he'd heard about her. He never believed it, Helena always having been a strong-minded individual, but someone told him that she spent two months in a mental institution after Lee's disappearance._ 'It's all very hush-hush.'_ that person had said. "I think I believe you, Helena." he finally said.

She stopped pacing, stunned. "What?"

"You are right about the nuclear waste. Since you already know, I'll admit to it. I was one of thirty scientists who thought the whole idea a mistake. But we were voted out by the committee in charge of the storage facilities." He lifted a hand when Helena started to protest, "Don't get me wrong, Helena. I have my doubts but I think you're as sane as you were on the day you were born." He stood, "And you wouldn't be telling me such a story unless you genuinely knew it to be true."

"Thank you, Victor."

"However, the only thing I can promise is an open eye. I'll keep my thoughts unimpeded and silent. I'll watch what is happening to the space program - Alpha most certainly - and make a few discreet inquiries. Then, when I'm satisfied that all you've told me is accurate, we'll take action _... Somehow_." He smiled when Doctor Russell gave him a _'what if it's too late by then?'_ look. "I'm not without influence in the scientific community, as you well know, and if I can make a bunch of old men and women believe our world is being threatened with destruction, maybe we can prevent the disaster from ever happening."

Helena wanted more from him but understood this was as good as it got. At least Victor was receptive to the possibility of the horror and that was more than she would get from anyone else. She reached for a glass and handed it to her guest as she got her own. Quietly, Helena lifted and tilted the bottle of wine and smiled when the Professor eagerly lifted his glass for the spirit. "Here's to ... the future." she said, just before they clinked.

[]

"I want to see you tonight. Dinner?" he asked softly, over the phone-monitor.

"Yes." she replied. _And maybe more?_

"I'll pick you up at seven-thirty."

It was a lovely, elegant restaurant hidden in the outskirts of the big city. Helena was reminded of a dark, private grotto where married presidents of major companies might come and bring their beautiful, compliant secretaries for more than just business luncheons. When she whispered this to John he chortled quietly and told her there was a motel just down the street.

They were escorted to their table by a tall, lean man with a thin mustache and French accent. "I hope this is to your liking." He said to Koenig, pulling a chair out for the lady. Currency was discreetly passed to the waiter and menus were hastily presented.

There was quiet between them for a while as Helena dreamily listened to a violin player in the distance. It was all so romantic and perfect. In her dreams Helena pictured she and John on Earth, happy in each other's company, visiting a place such as this just before an amorous tryst. But first they would set the mood. Dining. Dancing. Romance. She wore her best slinky gown for the occasion. With a smile, Helena said: "I hope you didn't have anything illicit in mind, John. You brought me here on a Thursday ..."

He didn't know what the day of the week had to do with it but he simply replied,

"Maybe." And he looked over his menu at her. She was just so lovely he couldn't stop. Then, with reluctance, he laid the food listing down. He could no longer hide the real purpose of this rendezvous. "I'm to report to Alpha next week, Helena."

She looked up from reading, "_Next week_?"

"Unhunh. Monday. I was asked to be Commander."

"_Commander."_ Wait. This couldn't be. Helena looked closely at his expression, uncertain he wasn't teasing. "Commander of _Alpha_?" She asked again.

He was puzzled by her expression, "Yes, it's not a secret I was considered for the position."

"I know but ..." _You never became Commander until 1999_. Helena held her tongue but searched her mind for answers.

"I wanted to spend more time with you." Koenig said, anticipating what the woman was going to say. He could read what he thought was discouragement on her attractive face. "This restaurant has special meaning for me. I don't bring many people here. The last person was my late wife."

Helena laid her menu down and reached for his hands. She smiled. He was being so sweet, caring and open. Far more open on Earth than he ever was on Alpha. Just for a moment Helena was able to forget that something was incorrect; this situation was somehow wrong. "Are you trying to tell me you want me in your life, John? Is that what all of this is about?" A part of Helena's inner child, the romantic, always felt they were meant to be together. Their coupling hadn't been an accident, she thought, evolving simply because they were stranded on the moon together.

The waiter brought them champagne then discreetly left.

Helena spoke as he uncorked the bottle, "Well, at least we have the weekend." They could work through this, she was sure.

"That's the tough part." John poured. He had hoped to hold off telling her this until later, or the following morning if all went as planned, but he now knew the truth quickly told was the best strategy. "I'm off to Fiji for three days after tonight, Helena. That's why I wanted us to be together.'

"Fiji?" She asked, confused.

"I'm going with Marcia."

Helena couldn't believe it. "M… _Marcia_?" Her eyes widened and not for the first time Helena began to feel something was very incorrect. "Wait, you're still seeing Marcia Gilcrest, John? I thought this dinner was to announce you and Marcia were no more and you and I ..."

Koenig stopped what he was doing. "Helena, I care for Marcia. I admit to having feelings for you, very strong feelings, but Marcia was there for me when matters were really bad. For a time I really didn't want to go on and ... I owe her more than a phone call, telling her we have no future together. And to be honest," he added, "I'm not all that certain about us. I think about you every day, unlike any woman I've ever met, but maybe my feelings aren't rooted in reality. Perhaps I'm just lonely and you ..." He almost said 'are filling a void' but he couldn't bring himself to say that. She was more than that to him but, as yet, he just didn't know what. "Helena, you remind me of Jean." he added.

Stricken, Helena's hands dropped to her sides as she looked directly into his eyes, expression strained and attempting calm_. 'Remember, this is John Koenig before Moonbase Alpha. He doesn't know you now like he did on the moon. Right now you're close but not yet that close. Think, Helena - Think.'_ - "I can appreciate and admire your efforts. You want to be fair. If we work out, you want to bring Marcia down easy. That's nice and very considerate. But John, believe me when I say I do _not _want you to go away with her. Perhaps you think I'm being selfish and unfair but I just can't accept something like that. Not if you are really interested in a relationship between us."

John squirmed awkwardly. How to make her understand? "This will probably be our last hurrah, Helena. Things haven't been quite right between Marcia and myself for a while and this weekend we're going to do some serious talking." He spoke in his most persuasive voice, "Then, while on Alpha, I'll have time to think. When my tour of duty is over I'll know for sure about us."

Again, Helena's eyes widened. Did he actually use the term: 'Last hurrah.'? "What did you hope to do, John? Try me on for size before making a commitment? Did you want to make a personal comparison between me and Marcia while the two of you were in Fiji?" She could feel raw emotion well up within her. Maybe she was being a little unreasonable, wanting him to love her without compromise here and now, but her John - on Moonbase Alpha - was always so certain about nearly everything he did. It was this strength of character, Koenig's absoluteness, which made Helena stand up and take notice in those early months.

Now, she was heart-broken. Not just because of Fiji or the fact John would be out of her life and on Alpha in four days - but because she had a dreadful feeling. Helena missed something vital. It was almost as if the man was a depiction of John but not truly him …

"Helena, that's not it at all." Staggered, he leaned forward and spoke quietly but forcefully.

She was not going to make a scene but he had to know how she felt, "It's amazing to me, John. Our relationship has barely gotten off the ground and I don't think I'm being unreasonable when I say I don't want you and Marcia going off to Fiji tomorrow!"

"And I don't think that's up to you." Koenig suddenly snapped, immediately sorry for the comment.

_"What?"_ Helena's heart skipped a beat. No, this was not her John Koenig. It couldn't be. Even during the earliest weeks on Moonbase Alpha, just shortly after Breakaway, when she and John disagreed on nearly everything that had to do with the moonbase, he never made her feel so unimportant and immaterial. Visibly shaking, Helena only knew two things for certain. She wanted those relationship secure years on Alpha to return and - presently - she wanted to leave this restaurant. Helena could not restrain herself this time. She pushed herself out of her chair.

"Helena ..."

Doctor Russell retrieved her wrap and headed for a pay monitor-phone. She would call for a cab, go home, and reconsider her options. She would cry and curse - but in solitude. Helena would not do it with him or others watching. She never could.

Stepping up behind her, Koenig gently took Helena by the arm and whispered, "Never mind. I'll take you home."

They didn't speak or look at one another during the trip back into Manhattan. Helena pressed her head against the passenger side car window, at first looking up longingly at the full moon then out at the rushing pavement. This was insane and deeply disappointing. Could it really end like this? Helena sincerely believed she and John Koenig's love was strong enough to draw them together and hold them jointly forever, on Earth or the Moon. Was their romance _really_ only something that happened because of what could still occur in 1999?

A tiny tear slid down her cheek.

Now, she thought, all that was important was to make certain the moon did _not_ break away from Earth orbit.

[]

**Continue ...**

_Hm. Not hearing from many of you this time ... Summer vacations?_


	4. Chapter 4

**[4]**

Always it came back to medicine. When she was grieving, as she was after Lee's disappearance, she worked. She labored also after Breakaway, mending broken bones and giving sound medical advice. And her career was also what kept Helena and John at odds, recently, while on Alpha. Whenever she was in crisis Helena found refuge in charts, X-rays and text books. It was her escape. It was her way.

Yet, this time - as she looked at him - she knew her sanctuary infiltrated. Uneasy, wanting her past-future even more now than when she first arrived on Earth, Helena steadied the clipboard in her hands. From her position behind a one way observation mirror, Doctor Russell gazed at the handsome young man as he sat on a hard, flat examination table. He looked about him, unaware of her scrutinizing stare. Earlier, Helena was told he was the last of the expected moonbase personnel and she was grateful, until she saw the name written on the chart.

_Anthony Verdeschi._

Shaken, Helena had no idea he had been acquainted with Alpha this early on. Taking a calming breath, she closed her eyes for two seconds then, composed, walked into the examining room. "Well, Mr. Verdeschi, how are we today?"

"You did that very well." he said, with a warm smile.

"Excuse me?" Helena stopped in her tracks, afraid she had already slipped up somewhere.

"My last name. Very few people can say it correctly the first time they read or hear it."

Helena half-laughed in nervous relief. She listened to his heart and did the typical eyes, ears, nose and throat inspection which was anticipated during such visits. "You are in very good condition." she said honestly, scribbling on her clipboard. Then, Helena sat back in a tall swiveling chair and began the part of medical analysis she disliked most. She was required to pry into the man's personal life. "Tell me a little about yourself."

Leaning back on his hands, Tony kicked his feet gently back and forth like a mischievous school boy, "I come from a big Italian family and was educated in England. My father is a banker and my mother was a police woman but now a home maker. I still have brothers in high school and my life's ambition is to settle down with a nice Catholic girl and have children of my own."

Helena looked up from her clipboard and suspected he was only half teasing, was repeating what his family wanted for him rather than what Tony truly wanted for himself. "Children ..." she whispered, recalling Maya and the situation left on Alpha.

"My problem is I'm not attracted to just any woman. She'd have to be special; beautiful and smart to start." He then smiled, "You know, someone like you."

Helena yielded a smile of her own, "Mr. Verdeschi, are you flirting with me?"

"Is it doing any good?'

"No, not really."

He shrugged, "Then I'm just trying to prove my virility."

With a chuckle, recalling Tony's wit, Helena shook her head back and forth and went on to another subject. "It says here you will be entering Alpha as a student of ... botany?" she unintentionally grimaced, confused by what was written.

"You have something against botanists, Doctor?" Verdeschi stopped kicking and looked concerned but not really offended.

"Oh no. Not at all. I just ..."

"Well, it's not my idea. My true love is law enforcement. I was working a security detail for Lunar Commission, to help get myself through school, but the powers that be said Alpha needed botanists. That was my major ..."

Helena blanked out on Tony as he spoke. Something had suddenly occurred to her. _Maya_. She was going to have a baby. But it wasn't going to happen. Maya would die when her planet exploded, due to Mentor's maniacal ambition. Alpha wouldn't be there to rescue her. Tony wouldn't be there to fall in love with her - because Helena was arranging for the moon to stay where it is.

"Doctor?"

She blinked out of her trance, "Tony, I'm sorry." Helena softly cleared her throat, "I haven't been myself lately."

Never had a truer statement been made.

[]

"Did you think me an idiot, unable to come to my own conclusions?!" she wailed, both hands raised before her now in fists, watching him fall.

He made a huge mistake, turning his back on her when all his years of pre space program combat training taught never to underestimate what you are unsure of. Commander Koenig was on his knees, a hand pressed to his right bloodied temple where she had hit him. His eyes, with now blurred vision, took in the shattered remains of a glass beaker as it rolled on the stark white Medical Center floor. Where did she get that beaker?

The woman was ill at ease when he entered a few minutes before, pacing and rubbing her hands together. She didn't even notice him until he spoke to her.

There was something in her eyes. They were darting and she seemed paranoid and slightly unhinged.

Previously, hearing reports from Medical Center, Koenig asked Mathias what seemed to be the matter with Helena. The doctor tapped a folder on his desk. "I've been giving Dr. Russell a very mild sedative since the day we had to strap her on the bed. I took her off of it last night and she's having a negative reaction."

"Depression?"

"Not quite. Anxiety I'd say. She's asked me twice in the last half hour if she could leave to see the rest of Alpha. I reminded her of your orders and that she was not entirely a well woman yet. She's restless and I can't really blame her for that." Mathias wasn't condemning, just stating facts.

"Do you think it would be safe to take her for a walk?"

"No, not by yourself." Mathias didn't elaborate and Koenig didn't ask him. "I have to check on the children in the nursery. I've been falling behind on their coordination testing since Helena's ..." He paused, looking over at her with Koenig. "Commander, could you stay here until Paula and Herbert come back from their breaks. I usually have a bigger staff but it's the dinner hour. You two should be all right here in the security of the Center."

"Go ahead, Bob." Then, he approached her as Mathias left the room. "Helena."

She stopped the repetitive motion, _"What?" _She appeared displeased to see him.

Koenig wasn't entirely sure what to make of it. Especially considering the way Helena threw her arms around him yesterday. "How are you?" He asked, attempting to vanquish those doubts that were coming back to haunt him.

She paused, thinking a moment. She then smiled, "I'm fine, John. Just terribly bored. Please, could we go out into the hall? I need different scenery. Anything new would make me feel so much better."

"I can't do that, Helena. Doctor's orders."

"Doctor's orders!" she nearly growled. "Commander's orders! Is that all you people do?" Then calming, biting her bottom lip, Helena's expression warmed and she moved in a little closer to him. "Of course you're right. I understand." Her hands touched his jacketed arms and moved up to his shoulders. "If I have to be in a prison I suppose it could be worse."

Uncomfortable, feeling inexplicably nervous by her touch, the Commander said, "Be patient, Helena. A few more tests and you will be able to leave. We just have to be sure of a few things."

"You have to be certain I'm sane, you mean." Her arms fell away in a defeated gesture and she slowly turned from him. "I know how it is. I was told that Tony Verdeschi put an armed guard outside Medical Center because he doesn't trust me." Then, nearly tearful – "Do you trust me, John?"

"I want to, Helena." Her tone tugged at his sympathy. The way she spoke sounded very odd to him. It was as if she felt she hadn't a prayer in the world. Helena needed encouragement. Later, Koenig would mentally beat himself for his own naiveté. "I had the guard removed, Helena. We all want to help you. None of us think you're crazy - just having problems, probably do to that alien contact."

"So you_ do_ trust me." she murmured, almost to herself. Helena had yet to turn in his direction or look up at him. "You are a good man, John Koenig."

"You need rest." John decided and took one of Helena's hands. He led her to the bed she had been sleeping in. He was not looking very carefully at her as he steered the woman in an awkward way. And that was his 'fatal mistake', as he would later call it.

Now, struggling to regain his footing and stay conscious, he could hear her shouts.

"_You've been lying to me all along!_ All of you! This isn't Alpha! It's an asylum!" She viciously snatched the comlock from a dazed Koenig's belt and, in his already weakened state, pushed him roughly away. She ran to the door, aimed the device, and was out of Medical Center.

John braced himself against her bed and hauled himself to his feet. He walked unsteadily to the nearest compost and made a base wide announcement that Doctor Russell had escaped the medical area and all should be on the look-out for her. He also said, although it nearly broke his heart to do so, that she was to be considered dangerous and the Alphans needed to be extremely cautious.

[]

She left the hospital early, around three thirty, hoping to go home and clear her mind with a hot cup of herbal tea or a long, much needed nap.

Walking into her apartment, Helena was greeted with the incessant beeping of her monitor phone. The meter read five. She half suspected who one of those calls might be from and wasn't certain she really wanted to hear or see him. John would either apologize, calling from the airport where he and Marcia were preparing for flight, or give a 'It could have been great. Maybe we can work on this.' speech from home just before he left for the weekend. Either way, she could just hear him trying, once again, to explain why he felt as he did and was doing what he was doing. He would probably even expect her to understand and be there for him upon his return to Earth - post Alpha - in six months.

And what made it so horrible, a total slap to her self-respect, was he would be right to expect it. Helena thought she was stronger. Before she met John Koenig, the man on the moon, there was no one who could have stopped her. Helena doubted that even Lee, had there been problems in their marriage, could talk her into staying in a relationship so obviously one sided and sick. But this was John. She could not just walk away. If it was necessary to share his affections with Marcia Gilcrest, God help her, Helena decided she could do it. She would hate every minute of it and loath herself in the process but the compensation of having John Koenig with her, loving her, would be enough. It would have to be.

Sighing heavily, Helena tossed her keys and purse onto the sofa and picked up the remote to her phone. Carefully, she pressed the red 'play' button and waited for his face to pop up on the monitor.

It was Victor: "Helena dear," He was calling from what appeared to be a busy cargo bay, where Eagles headed for Alpha were being stocked and maintained. "I'm calling from Geneva. I know this is quite out of the ordinary but I've been hearing things you might find interesting ..." Suddenly tense, he looked around to see if anyone was shadowing him. In a whisper, he continued: " ... about Alpha." Victor cleared his throat and Helena realized, with a start, that Professor Bergman was afraid. Something was urgent but frightening him enough for Victor to attempt a call he was ill prepared to complete. "I'm coming to New York on the next available flight. Expect me around nine o'clock tonight. I'll explain everything then." the screen blanked.

Helena sank down on the sofa slowly. She awaited the next message.

It was John Koenig: "Helena, we have to talk." His face was stolid yet edged with emotion, a frustration which was very familiar to her. "I know you don't want to hear from me but ..." The eyes flashed a message of affirmation, "I ... We _need_ to talk." His lower lip was on the verge of trembling but not quite. "I'll call again."

Blank.

Was he calling from Fiji? Helena couldn't tell. A solid gray wall was behind John and she wasn't able to make out background noise.

Next: _"You have no idea how much I hate you!" _The shriek came before Helena could make out the stumbling human figure on her monitor. Marcia Gilcrest's body was reeling from side to side, the colorful kaftan she wore billowing and deflating as she moved. It was obvious to Helena, as it would be to anyone watching, that the socialite was distressed and intoxicated."How could you do this to me!?" Marcia's words slurred and she was having a terrible time keeping on her feet. It might have been funny if it wasn't tragic. "I was the one! He should be marrying me! We had plans ..." As the tears slid down her cheeks, so did a good portion of the woman's eye makeup. "I wanted him so much! He's going places ... and he loved me before you ruined everything!" A sob and swipe at her disheveled hair, "Doctor, I _need_ him more than you. How can you be so cruel? You bitch!"

Helena looked away from the monitor. Saddened, embarrassed and - yes - a little guilty. John obviously told Marcia he was seeing another woman and Miss Gilcrest, having connections, pin pointed who her lover was interested in. Could she blame her for being resentful? Helena was not sure. Marcia had always been a name to her, surrounded by an enigma, until she finally met her at the party. An enigma has no feelings but a human being does. Perhaps, in trying to catch John, Helena had miscalculated just how deeply Marcia's feeling for the man extended.

Still, what about Fiji?

Helena looked up at the monitor, recognizing the well decorated background of the woman's fancy apartment. The time clock positioned at the corner of the screen announced 2:15pm. This message was made a little less than an hour ago. Marcia and John should have been well on their way by then.

"You will pay for this, Doctor Russell! I'll see to it that your license is pulled and your reputation totally destroyed! I've heard things about you ..." Perhaps if Marcia wasn't so emotionally wrought, she wouldn't have said such incriminating things, Helena thought. After all, she was speaking to an answering machine and this afforded Helena ample evidence if Marcia actually decided to carry out her threats. Finally, "But you watch ... He'll come back to me! He'll leave you ravaged and alone. I know this! I know my John!"

So, John Koenig left Marcia and now he wanted to speak with Helena. Very interesting. Helena leaned her head back, eyes closed, against a sofa cushion. Despite her pity for defeated Marcia, she had to feel good about John's decision. It would have been easy for him to just go to Fiji and forget about the woman left behind, especially after their appalling fight last night. But he'd been honorable. He told Marcia straight out he was in love with another woman and could not keep stringing her along. It must have been tough for him because, Helena knew, he wasn't yet certain what their relationship now consisted of. For all John knew, Helena was ready to toss him aside without a second thought. Yet, he knew he couldn't continue seeing a woman he had obviously grown apart from.

Another message: "Dr. Russell, you've been prying into matters that do not concern you." Commissioner Simmonds spoke with typical haughtiness. There was menace in his tone as well. "Professor Bergman has been making a pest of himself in Switzerland and I've been told, by a reliable source, that it is all because of you. I would think you could afford to be more careful considering where you've been and what happened to you a few months ago. Oh yes, I know all about Standish and Yamoto. We will talk, Doctor. Tomorrow morning in your office. Nine sharp." He looked off a bit as if recalling something more he needed to tell her, "By the way, John Koenig will _not_ be Commander of Alpha come Monday. He will work on Alpha as the astrophysicist he is but Alpha's first Commander, as it turns out, will be Italy's Marcela Penoise. Have Dr. Ripperton prepare a physical."

Blank.

Helena paused the machine, taking in all Simmonds said. What had Victor found? Why was John so suddenly passed over and just who were Doctors Standish and Yamoto?

Then, the last message: "It's me again." Victor, appearing rushed and distracted.

Helena could tell he was in an airport. According to her monitor clock this was recorded forty five minutes ago. "Helena, I'm bringing Professor Inglestour with me. He's going to need our help. Together, we found ..." Bergman's attention was diverted and Helena could hear another man's frantic accented voice calling_: 'We must leave now!'_ The connection then broke without another word.

Doctor Russell entwined her fingers and placed her hands on her head as she leaned, once again, back on her sofa. Dear God, she thought, what has Victor gotten himself into? Or was it something _she_ got him into? It suddenly occurred to Helena, but only for a moment, that she may have drastically changed matters on Earth for the worse instead of better. So much was happening so fast that she could hardly keep pace with it.

Later, all messages heard, Helena changed clothes, slipping into a comfortable terry-cloth house robe. She was on her way into the kitchen, thoughts of John, Marcia. Simmonds and Victor swirling in her head, when the door buzzer sounded. She jumped, startled. Who knew she was home? Carefully, knowing Victor was still too far away unless he hopped an Eagle transporter instead, Helena activated her door monitor. She had visions of Simmonds or Marcia making an impromptu visit and she did not relish it.

"Helena, it's me. Open up."

"John?" She stood mute for a moment. Finally, Helena pressed her door opener and they stood, face to face.

"I'm sorry, John." Helena said.

He extended his arms as if to embrace her, "I am too. Words were spoken last night that were ..."

Helena stepped out of his way and lifted a hand. She indicated he was welcomed into her apartment but no more. As he walked in, puzzled, she said: "I'm _not_ sorry for what I said, John. My anger and hurt was genuine. I think I did the right thing. However," She stuffed her hands into the pockets of her robe, walking to the living area, "I think I did over-react a little and underestimated you. Marcia left a message on my machine."

John bowed his head, a little embarrassed. "I thought she might."

They stood close to each other by the sofa. "What I'm really sorry about, John, is Alpha. Simmonds told me there had been a change in Commanders."

"Oh." Now, he lifted his head and laughed a little. "Somehow, I never felt it was right. Alpha is too new. I'd have been their paper-pusher and no more." But still, it would have been wonderful to be there. To be a force and have his name in the history books. "To work on the moon …"

"Well, you can still work on the moon." Helena nodded and tried to meet his eyes. "Just not as its Commander." He felt rejected, she knew, but he wouldn't show or admit to it. She'd known John Koenig too long not to see how he felt about his sudden demotion.

Changing the subject to something, if not happier then a little more down to Earth, Helena asked: "What happened to Fiji?" She wanted to tell him how upset and frantic Marcia had been on the phone but shied away. It would only serve to make John feel more guilty and with the stress of coming to see her capped off with Helena's knowledge of his unexpected elimination ... It would be too much. Helena noted the familiar stress lines around his sea-blue eyes, an indication of toll being taken, and knew John had had little sleep. The thought made her smile sadly.

Suddenly he said, "I love you, Helena." His eyes looked into her own. "I've broken off with Marcia. I couldn't stand the thought of being without you. Will you ... Can you forgive me?"

A rush of tenderness overcame Helena and she allowed herself to be embraced by him. Their lips met and a hand lifted to touch his hair. In the back of Helena's mind she could hear the soft hum of her television set, a news brief about the space program, and knew - eventually - she would tell John about what could happen to the moon._ Victor will be here soon. We can tell him together. _But all that mattered now was that she was here with John ... _Her_ John ...

The delight in Helena's expression lessened, hidden by their kiss _(Marcia: "I know my John!")._Helena pulled away from him, unexpectedly awash with new uncertainty. 'Oh no, I can't be having doubts.' This was John Koenig. She had worked hard for this moment! Thoughtfully, Helena walked over to sit on the sofa, looking ahead of her - as if she was thinking a bit too deeply about something.

"What's the matter?" John asked, sitting beside her.

The television buzzed lowly before them.

"Wait." John took a hand and squeezed it, "I think I know and you don't have to worry. I don't care about the mental institution. Marcia told me she found out about your breakdown and the fact that you shouldn't ..." His voice slowed as he watched her surprised expression, " ... be practicing medicine or ..."

"Where did she hear about this?"

"From your doctors - Yamoto and Standish."

Helena shivered. Something was horribly wrong here. Never in her life did she have a breakdown or was a patient in mental health ...

"But, as I said, it doesn't matter. Let them put it in the newspapers or run it through the computer network. I'm leaving the space program ..."

"John!" _Wrong._ This is wrong.

"I can find a job anywhere and we can be married ..."

Helena could barely breathe. This was insanity. _Where was she?_

"Oh my God." John's attention turned from Helena to something being reported on the news. He lifted the remote to turn up the volume.

The middle aged man on the screen spoke clearly with an impressive base: "This is a Special Report ... Flight 616 from Switzerland to New York has exploded in mid air. Among the passengers were renown scientists, Professor Victor Bergman and Professor Byron Inglestour ..."

"No!" Helena stood and cried.

John reached for her.

"Noooo!" She backed up away from him, nearly stumbling. Tears streamed down Helena's face. "God, NO!" And she felt something strange, a prickly feeling that went beyond her emotional pain. Then, there was a blue flash and the last thing Helena saw was John's face as he lunged at her - attempting, through his own grief, to assure, care and keep her.

"Helena!" he cried.

And it sounded like a cry she recalled when first coming back to Earth …

**CONTINUE ...**

(stay tuned for the conclusion coming soon)


	5. Conclusion

**CONCLUSION:**

[]

She was running but hadn't been spotted yet by any of the doctors, nurses, orderlies, students or volunteer care givers she remembered from her time at _The Lawson Center._ This place was bigger, with many halls and rooms. Finding a door to the outside was impossible. If she could only reach a monitor phone and contact Bruce Ripperton she would be okay. He pulled her out last time, when she convinced her friend that she was so much better, months after her husband's murder ...

That's what had happened. Lee was assassinated by those bastards in Space Commission. That's one reason she fought as she did to get the Medical Center built on Moonbase Alpha. Something good had to come out of his death. But now this ... this _deception_. They wanted to stop her by using confinement, by bringing a dashing man in to distract her, possibly to seduce her, and it would not happen! She couldn't allow it.

Helena ducked into an alcove when she heard the footsteps of a couple armed security guards. They passed her, eyes searching but never making visual contact. She turned, ready to retreat in the opposite direction, when she heard a noise. A cooing. She walked slowly toward it and watched, through a large window, as men and women - three different couples - played with their children.

The sight stunned her. The young ones were all babies, not yet a year, but the parents were laughing at their antics. A stretched hand, a sneeze and a giggle were enough to make all warble with delight. The oldest of the three, a charming dark-skinned boy sitting in a high chair, allowed his mother to spoon feed him what looked like mashed bananas. He saw Helena before any of the others in the nursery and waved in her direction, enthusiastically.

Alibe Gundersen looked over to where her son's attention was directed but saw nothing. Whoever had been there was now gone.

[]

"Damn it, she's _one_ woman! She can't be that hard to find!" Koenig bellowed at Verdeschi over the communications console.

"John, that's just our problem." Tony patiently tried to explain, "She's_ one_ woman and the base it big. She wasn't wearing any type of tracer in her pajamas and it's taking time."

Koenig took a breath, touching the cream-colored bandage at his temple, and relented. "Keep at it, Tony." he said in a lower tone and pushed a button to end their transmission. He looked up, aware that a few in Command Center were watching him. Koenig was letting current events get the better of him and knew his people were suffering because of it. During the past four days he'd hardly been near his desk and many were wondering if their Commander wasn't allowing the base to move toward ruin because of a personal emotional issue. Few would actually comment, most being loyal, but he knew what they were thinking and John couldn't really blame them. He'd feel the same if in their shoes.

Actually hadn't he accused Helena, if not verbally than mentally, of doing just what he was doing when she jumped ahead, excitement on high, and gave herself the flu? At least she'd been professional, doing what she did for the good of the base. He was being rash simply because something he wanted wasn't being done fast enough.

Maya glanced once at Yasko and stood. She crossed over to her Commander, "Anything I can do to help?" She asked, quietly.

Koenig half smiled, "No, you have enough on your mind."

"True." She reached down and touched her slightly swelling tummy, "But it doesn't prevent me from wanting our Helena back. More than ever I need her advice and friendship." Focusing, she shrugged. "Guess I've been making that very clear to anyone who wants to hear it. I just don't believe that woman is Helena, Commander. And ..." She hesitated, " ... I know that's why you haven't been seeking me out for answers. You wanted so much to believe she is yours but that -" she nodded towards his bandage, "- pretty well says it all. Helena never would have hurt you like that, ill or not."

"Ill or not ..." John repeated. For a while he thought her experimentation with the flu virus might have added to Helena's problems, causing brain damage during the Tagleon probe. But now he didn't think so. She told him there would be no long-range side effects and he should have believed her and respected her competence. He should have done a lot of thing, as it turned out.

"Commander!" Yasko called, "I'm picking up a signal. It's far away but gaining momentum."

Maya ran to her console and analyzed the numbers popping up on the screen.

"John!" Verdeschi called over his console, "We found Helena but something happened. She was in front of us one minute, cornered by guards, but then it was as if a giant whirlpool opened up in the middle of the hall, sucking her under. Honest to God, John. She screamed and disappeared and that was the last we saw her."

Suddenly, the base began to shake ...

[]

She was floating again in an airless void. Helena could see the stars all around her, resting in their black velvet night-cloth, yet she could breathe. "Is it you?" she asked.

"Yes. I am Yur." came a disembodied voice.

"Do I know you?"

"Not personally, but you have met the beings I serve. The Tagleons."

"You are not a Tagleon?"

"No. I am as human as you. Or, at least, I was. It's been well over two hundred years, possibly longer, since my abduction. Now, I teach and the Tagleons to listen and learn."

"What do you teach them?"

"They are fascinated by humans and mortal beings. They are a race, millions of years old, and have knowledge of many things. But human emotion is the one trait which continually escapes their grasps. Really, they are like my children."

"Are you taking me back to Alpha?"

"Yes. It is time. Your friends are not doing well without you." The voice which echoed around Helena paused, "Also, an error was made where you were."

"Earth, you mean."

"Yes, it was Earth but not _your_ Earth. The Tagleons could not take you back to your own planet because what happened to your people on the moon was preordained. They took you to another Earth in a different dimension, A parallel world, but one that was quite nearly the duplicate of yours."

"Is that why everyone seemed the same yet so different to me? Was it a world that doesn't truly exist?"

"Oh, doctor. It exists. You traded places with the Helena Russell of that world. It seemed a logical exchange to the Tagleons. But the children didn't take into account that you might disrupt that world with your well intentioned deeds."

"Did I do wrong? Was I responsible for Victor Bergman's death?"

The voice hesitated, "I am sorry." Then, "It was never meant to happen to him like that. But there is nothing we can do now. However, corrections have already been made. Where one moon is expelled another must remain and when one man dies another must live. It _must_ balance."

So, Victor didn't die in the plane and the moon is going to remain where it is. Helena sighed in relief.

[]

"Helena!" Koenig shouted as the doorway in space opened, flinging Doctor Russell across Command Center to lie on her back next to their wall computer. He ran to her and helped the woman to at first sit then stand.

She was dressed in the pink house robe she left Earth in. Part of her mind, still not quite in sync with the significance of what was happening, wished she could have brought something more with her. Alpha needed _more_.

"Where am I?" Helena asked, groggy. She was shaky on her feet.

"Helena?" Koenig put his hands firmly on her shoulders and looked into puzzled green eyes. He had to be sure. "Do you remember our last conversation while in your quarters?"

"Of course. You were angry with me because I caught the flu ..." And then the full impact of what he asked came to Helena and she laughed, "_I'm home!"_ and threw her arms around him, spontaneously kissing John on the lips.

Koenig held her tightly, "Oh, I missed you!"

"John, we just heard!" a familiar voice announced as he and Tony rushed into Command Center, "Thank God, Helena. We were so worried ..." He stopped when she turned and looked at him in shock. "What is it?"

"Victor?" she asked, unbelieving.

He stood before Helena and the others, wearing his uniform and appearing mildly troubled by her stare, "I hope so. Did you go to Earth as we suspected, Helena? You would not believe the woman who was here, replacing you while you were away. She ..."

_But, of course._ Why wouldn't Victor be _here ("Corrections have already been made ...")_? Where else would he be? They didn't see as much of him as they once did. He retired to his lab when Maya came aboard. Gratefully, he relinquished his post as Science Officer and elected to be an advisor. But his continuing contributions to the moonbase benefited all.

Helena sighed her contentment. More than once John had asked what Alpha would do without Professor Bergman. He was special and the Alpha would probably only limp on without his intelligence and experience.

[]

One week passed.

Helena discovered that although she spent nearly two months on Earth it had been less than a week since she was kidnapped from Moonbase Alpha. Very little changed. The children were well, as was the expectant Maya. Medical Center managed to putter along, although Mathias took a well-earned two day holiday.

Victor admitted to Koenig that it was he who encouraged the research into Alpha's new flu vaccine. He never knew Professor Fairfax talked Helena into using it on herself. Bergman believed it was all her own doing but he admitted to not wanting to stop them either. "Sometimes we have to take risks, John." Victor reminded, "It may not stand well with those we love and who love us in return but, at least in this case, the results are sometimes astounding!"

She sat in a lounge chair in the moonbase's swimming pool area and looked at the water as it lapped against the navy colored trimming. It was after hours and peaceful. Sometimes Helena just came here to be alone and think, as she was doing now.

"Am I interrupting?" John Koenig pulled up a chair and sat facing her, "I'll leave if you would rather be alone."

"No." Helena gazed at him, thoughtful yet compliant. The fingers on her left hand lifted to touch the small cut at his temple. John told her how he received the wound. "I'm glad you're here. I want to talk." A three-second pause, "I want to get married, John."

Cut off before he could start a sentence, Koenig stared at her, unsure of what she just said. "What?" His reply bounced off of the tall concrete walls about them, making the moment nearly surreal.

"I think we should get married." Helena repeated, quietly. "I love you and want to be your wife." When he said nothing, she started to get a little worried. Perhaps by refusing him so many times she had made his initial offers null and void? "John?"

He sighed, "Why _now_, Helena?" Koenig reached out and rubbed her arm with his left hand as it lay on the chair's rest. He was happy but curious. And why, of all places, were they having this discussion near the pool? Despite their solitude, it was hardly the intimate setting Koenig had in mind for such a chat. Luckily, the echo wasn't as bad as it might be if buffers hadn't been installed in the walls a couple of years ago.

"I've seen what my world could be like without you." Helena bit her bottom lip, emotion betraying her, and looked away from him. "I survived but was deeply unhappy while on Earth. I need your companionship and want you to know, by marrying you, that I respect your opinion and beliefs." She almost said she also wanted him to be the father of her children but stopped just short of the comment. They hadn't crossed that road yet and probably never would. It didn't matter. Helena would still live a long, happy life with her husband. Children or not.

"But you're not just doing it for me. You really _want_ marriage too, right?"

She looked at him. The sincerity in those eyes could not be doubted, "Yes, John. I want it - with all my heart." and she leaned forward for his kiss.

Life would continue to be a struggle and the couple might find themselves, once again, on the opposite end of a weighty event or crisis of faith. However, never again would they allow it to compromise their love for each other or the welfare of their home.

And that was what Moonbase Alpha was. Home.

[]

"Yes, my children. We shall keep an eye on these Alphans. I see a possible dwelling for them not too far away. Yet, there will be problems. Bad things. I fear there is another power out here, very close, who wants them harmed.

What is that? You want to intervene? Ah ... no. We cannot do that. You saw what happened when you thought you could take the woman and ... Yes, it was sound theory. But you forgot to count on unpredictability. Perhaps you are right, children. If nothing more, we can talk with our malevolent neighbors. They have intelligence. Perhaps we can reason with them ..."

After all, who in the galaxy really wanted to harm the people of Moonbase Alpha?

[]

**THE END**

Re-edit July-Aug 2013

_I do you hope you enjoyed this fiction. Again, it was written many years ago, re edited and - hopefully - improved for clarity._

_Please leave me a note in comments and know I truly appreciate hearing from each and every one of you._

_Take care, Becky_


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